In the middle of it.
A love I thought was going to last forever.
I now know it was a love that was never meant to be.
Love is not supposed to be painful and fearful, but joyous and happy.
To be with someone willing to work with you side by side.
Each giving of themselves for the better of each other.
When I vowed to love for better or worse,
I am sure God did not mean through abuse
How can a man expect you to love him forever
When all he does is hurt you time and time again?
Hoping each day he will get better
That things will change, hoping, praying they will change
But they never do, and it only gets worse
Only YOU have the power to stop it!
You come to a point in your life where you have had enough
You have tried everything there is to try
You have taken the blame for him over and over
Until you have lost yourself in him
NO confidence, the abuser takes that away from you
NO trust, he destroyed that along time ago
Only fear, fear of what could happen
Not fear for yourself but, fear for the safety of those you love
Those you will leave behind
The person you once were becomes lost
Trying desperately to reach out, to find yourself again
But he stops that with his hurtful words
His painful hands upon your body
You cry out, but no one hears you
You hold it inside as long as you can
Until you can’t take it any longer
Until you feel you will go insane
You don’t deserve this, you don’t want this,
You only wanted to love and be loved
Time to bury your pride and ask for help
To stop this torment that has plagued you all these years
It is perhaps one of the hardest things you will ever do
To be strong beyond all the strength you thought you had
This is the test of strength and of faith
Although you won’t be alone, this you must do on your own
Or live forever condemned in a marriage filled with pain and sorrow
Never being able to free the spirit he has locked up inside you
Never being able to be yourself or follow your dreams
He won’t let you, he holds you back, kills your spirit
Until there is nothing left of who you once were
You want to cry, you need to cry, but you can’t, not yet
You need all your strength and will for your journey
The journey back to life, back to happiness
To be able to breathe again and live again
Free of the fear you have known all these years
Written by: Sandy Schubert
April 22, 2001